Turn up your volume, and turn down your expectations.

Newsbleep 107: What Kind of Day Has It Been from Miles Rausch on Vimeo.

NOTE: For the best possible viewing experience, ensure that you have the latest version of Apple Quicktime and a broadband Internet connection. Those with dial-up connections will have a much longer load time, but the video should still be watchable.

WRITERS:
Miles Rausch – http://milesrausch.com

ACTORS:
Brenna Rausch
Katie Brass
Dan Rausch – http://milesrausch.com/dan
Holli Rausch – http://hollirausch.com
David Rausch – http://milesrausch.com/david
Chris Proczko
Sarah La Meyer
Tyler Rolfes – http://milesrausch.com/tyler
Miles Rausch

MUSCIANS:
Two Sides by John Holowach –
What We Had by Handsome Furs – http://www.myspace.com/handsomefurs

DIRECTOR:
Miles Rausch

Click To Play

WRITER:
Miles Rausch – http://milesrausch.com/

ACTORS:
Holli Rausch – http://hollirausch.com
David Rausch – http://milesrausch.com/david
Miles Rausch

MUSCIANS:
The Sleepless by The Shaky hands – http://www.holocenemusic.com/shakyhands/
When You Go by Jonathan Coulton – http://www.jonathancoulton.com/songdetails/When%20You%20Go

DIRECTOR:
Miles Rausch

Click To Play

WRITER:
Miles Rausch – http://milesrausch.com/

ACTORS:
Miles Rausch

MUSCIANS:
for the very first time by Museum – http://www.last.fm/music/Museum/_/for+the+very+first+time

DIRECTOR:
Miles Rausch

Watch Newsbleep 101!

WRITERS:
Tony Rolfes – http://milesrausch.com/bigt
Bob Davidson – http://pageofbob.com
Miles Rausch – http://milesrausch.com

ACTORS:
Bob Davidson
Holly Davidson – http://davidsonphotographysd.com
Holli Gregg – http://milesrausch.com/holli
Miles Rausch

MUSCIANS:
Riki Ticki by El Remolon – http://www.archive.org/details/pn015
Alala by CSS – http://www.subpop.com/artists/css
Additional Music by Miles Rausch

SPECIAL THANKS:
WickedAwesomeFilms
wickedawesomefilms.blogspot.com
Watch The Walkens on blip.tv – http://blip.tv/file/209009/

DIRECTOR:
Miles Rausch

Click To Play

MilesRausch.com Newsbleep 006: “A Very Lost Thanksgiving”

Newsbleep in Lost font flies past.

Inset: Miles’ eye. Opens.

POV: Looking up from ground.

Wide shot of Miles lying on the ground. He’s missing a shoe. He appears in pain, looks down at his sock, moves his foot a little, and then puts his shoe on.

He hears something, turns his head quick, cut to quiet, empty crickets shots of both houses. Then he hears something else, he turns his head the other direction and sees Haji walking around near him. Walks past him.

Miles gradually, slowly gets up. He leans against the pool table, and pulls something out of his clothing. It’s shiny and metal.

Cut to Miles smiling at it. He puts it back in his pocket. “I’ve gotta help with Thanksgiving.” He gets up, and he runs up the stairs. Camera pushes in on a shoe hanging from the banister.

Miles bursts through coats into the living room. Camera swoops around him. He’s in Big Stone. He looks back downstairs. “I think I’m lost”. Commercial break.

He runs back down stairs, and ends up back in the Gregg house. He tries again, running up the steps, and he ends up at his apartment in Madison. “Wow. I’m really lost.” Commercial break.

He runs back down stairs, and ends up back in the Gregg house. He peeks up, his head appears in Madison, he ducks down, he peeks up, his head is in his car, he ducks down, his head appears in Val’s office, he ducks down.

“What are you doing?” says marissa in the basement. “I’m … kinda… lost.” Commercial break. “I’m kinda… well I won’t say… but I’m having troubles getting upstairs.” “Miles falls up the stairs; Miles falls down the stairs.” (ladyinthewater) “Um… that seems uncharacteristically creepy of you, Marissa.” “Brains!” Miles starts upstairs, then “Hey! What’s your name?” “Jack! Er… Miles. Rausch. Dotcom.”

Miles sprints up stairs and ends up in the living room at the Gregg house. Camera swoops around him and shows Holli sitting on the couch.

“Hi sweetie. You about ready for Thanksgiving Dinner? We’re leaving in a couple minutes.” Miles hears from “Miles, Miles, Miles..” and flash back to Big Stone. Holli says, “Do you want some turkey?” “Uh, sure.” “Any color preference?” Miles laughs. “Standard black is fine. Are you going to have any?” “I’ll eat on the trip home.” Holli and him laugh for a bit, then flash forward to couch.

“I think something’s wrong with Marissa. She’s downstairs.” “Well, let’s go look.” Then go downstairs and end up in Big Stone. “Where are we?” “I don’t know. I think we’re… lost.” Commercial break. Still downstairs, Tony comes by.

“Dudes, hello.” “Tony. I keep ending up in two or three different places. What’s the deal?” “Dudes. You don’t know? I’m bad luck.” “Bad luck?”- Holli “Oh, sure. Every NDSU game I watch they lose, I never win at the Casino, my parents think I have five or six addictions, and my best friend moved half-way across the country. I’m bad luck.” “Stay away from my car.” “We’re going to run back upstairs. You stay here in case it doesn’t work.” “Dude, I’m not going anywhere.” They run back upstairs and end up a couple floors up.

They hear the monster sound. Tony comes up. “Dude, did you hear that?” The dinosaur sounds get louder and louder, and then Doofus comes up the top of the steps. Doofus attacks Miles, and he starts screaming. Tony and Holli wrestle Doofus off of Miles. Miles says, “I’m going back downstairs.” Tony says “Hey! What’s your name?” “Jack! Er… Miles. Rausch. Dotcom.”

He finally ends up back downstairs at the Gregg house. “Man, these jeans.” Marissa is down there, “Aren’t you ever afraid?” “I was freakin’ afraid of you just five minutes ago.” “Yeah, but really afraid.” “Fear is sort of an odd thing. When I was a rookie Newsbleeper, I was shooting a segment called ‘Ghost Stalkers (For Reals)’. And I was using a camera bag of equipment and I tore the side of it. So it ripped open and camera equipment just spilled out of it like angel hair pasta. The terror was just so- crazy. So real. And I knew I had to deal with it. So I just made a choice. I let the fear in, let it take over, let it do its thing, but only for five seconds. That was all I was going to give it. so I started to count. And it was gone. I went back to work, setup the equipment and it was fine. Funniest Newsbleep yet. What are you afraid of?” “Your turtle. She’s kinda creepy looking.”

“What do you think, Haji? Are you afraid?” Haji says something. Commercial break. “You know English?” Says something else. Miles stares off into space. Flashback to Big Stone. Haji on counter. “What do you have there?” Haji is on top of medal. Miles looks at it. Inset: the Best Actor medal. “Thank you for this, Haji. I can sell this for heroin!” He happily puts it in his pocket. Flash foward to basement. Says something else.

“I’m really going, Marissa.” “here, take this. Don’t turn it on until you get to Sioux Falls. You won’t have service until then. Then dial 911 once every hour. That’s the only way you’ll get rescued.” “We’ll be back to save you.” Miles runs back up the stairs and ends up in Big Stone. There is Holli and Tony. “Dude. What happened?” Miles turns to Holli, “Did you ever use a needle? Did you ever patch a pair of jeans?” “I made the drapes in my apartment.” “That’s perfect, can you patch these? They’re a little too long.” *ba dum ching* “Sure, I can do that. We should head home now.”

Miles and Holli hug everyone good bye. They drive until it’s dark. “Where are we going?” “I’m not sure. I think I took a wrong exit.” They end up on back streets somewhere. Suddenly the car loses power. “The car just stopped.” Then a spotlight turns on to the car. They both cheer at being rescued. Roll down window, and Holly and Bob approach car. “We just want the turtle.” Bob punches Miles out, Holly punches Holli out. They take Haji. They both kinda come to, and Miles and Holli start yelling, “Haji! Haji!” Cut to LOST end.

Click to Play

MilesRausch.com Newsbleep 005: “Daily Horrors”

Host: Boo! I’m Miles Rausch. Welcome to Newsbleep. “Did I totally scare you?” Yesterday, more than any other day of the year, that phrase will enter the awkward air between predator and prey. One, beaming with accomplishment, will pose the question to the other, suppressing a sigh, a scowl, or a rolling of eyes. And yet parents, friends, and even strangers will use the holiday of Halloween to make children, friends, and other strangers pee their pants. Even Newsbleep, itself, has taken to the sophomoric tradition of frightening people without reason in a very frightening and unreasonable Newsbleep 005: Daily Horrors.

[ intro ]

Host: Invented by Celtic pagans – there’s a shocker-, All Hallowed-Out Eve, or Halloween, has seen common citizens commit ordinarily socially unacceptable acts of abuse upon others. And while some people would consider every episode of Newsbleep to be a socially unacceptable act of abuse [ ba dum ching ], this episode proves to be even more so. Err… umm… Anyway, in preparation for this festive time, Newsbleep commissioned an evocative news piece bravely titled, My Gravest Days. It’s author, sadly unknown, employed a very special vocal technique known as “scary voice” in pointing out the horrors of his daily life. Don’t let it scare you, too much.

[ My Gravest Days; music: Pleasure Forever - This Is The Zodiac Speaking ]

Host: My god. I haven’t been that afraid of something people see everyday since Michael Jackson took his mask off. [ ba dum ching ] All joking aside, every good horror movie has that firm nugget of comedy at it’s core, something to lighten the mood before its terrifying gory ending. Cue our parody of Bryce Rausch’s vblog, Traffic Talk!

[ Car Confabulation; music: none ]

Host: Boy, after doing all that humorous parody, you’d think we’d be pretty satired! [ ba dum ching ] Some would say that laughter is man’s greatest mystery, but the fellas in this next segment would beg to differ. They spend their ghoulish days haunting cemeteries trying to spook up some specters to study. [ crickets ] Anyway, you may remember our version of Ghost Stalkers in episode 002, but now you’ll meet the real thing in Ghost Stalkers (For Reals).

[ Ghost Stalkers (For Reals); music: grubspoon - Monster]

Reporter: Thanks, MC^2
Host: Hold on just a moment, Jerry. Um, what’s the deal? You’re supposed to be in the cemetery.
Reporter: My cameraman …
Host: Let me stop you right there. I don’t know Spanish. I trust you’ll still turn in a decent report. Please, continue.
Reporter: I’m glad you asked…

[ credits; music: Trembling Blue Stars - The Ghost Of An Unkissed Kiss ]

I’m a mac, linux, and Adobe Photoshop.

Pleasure Forever – This Is The Zodiac Speaking (http://www.subpop.com/scripts/main/bands_page.php?id=363)
grubspoon – Monster (http://music.podshow.com/music/producers/producerLibrary/artistdetails.php?BandHash=8e6c97e3a27b49c386afbe8e8ae7f8f7)
Trembling Blue Stars – The Ghost Of An Unkissed Kiss (http://www.subpop.com/scripts/main/bands_page.php?id=326)

Click To Play

Newsbleep 004: Bloopers!

“It’s my birthday(.com)!” proclaims the front page of blogging super-site, MilesRausch.com As a syndicate of said super-site, Newsbleep thought a visual show of frivolity was in order. And so we bring you a very special Newsbleep 004: Bloopers!

(opening sequence)

The err of fellow members of human kind have long left us laughing languidly. Why do you think “Funniest Home Videos” is still on the air? It is in that spirit of mockery that we show you the best and the rest of the bloopers so far on Newsbleep.

(there are some hilarious bloopers)

And now, some highlights.

(crickets)

From my living room at Newsbleep Headquarters, this is Miles Rausch. Good night.

Click To Play

MilesRausch.com Newsbleep 003: “All’s Well-a In Pella”

In recent years the American psyche has been brutalized by one word: terrorism. It’s been used as a motivator, an interrogator, and a way to get people to perform bizarre, time-consumptive and inane rituals in the name of “freedom”. However, it is also a very real danger, and you should never, ever joke about it.

That is why, when the Newsbleep offices received word of an imminent terrorist threat-organizing and threat-note-caligraphy meeting in Pella, Iowa, we hopped the next train heading to South America to investigate. What we discovered and destroyed on this journey may just terrorize your dreams for the next one hundred billion years, but we felt it would be wrong of us to not share this horror with the public. And so, we bring you Newsbleep 003: All’s Not Well-a In Pella.

(opening sequence)

To capture this one-of-a-kind news opportunity, we dispatched our special, undercover reporter. Because of the sensitive work he does, he emailed us and asked us to call him by an alias, Riles Mausch, and to blur his face when possible. It was not possible to blur his face, nor to edit out any personal details, such as loved ones or addresses, that he may have mentioned in his broadcast. Thankfully, Newsbleep is more dedicated to good television than it is to personal safety, so we’re airing the piece anyway. Riles?

(in Pella)

Thanks, Miles. This is Miles Rausch (edit over the name “Riles Mausch”), reporting alive from Pella, IA (edit over “Indiana” ). It is now nearly the end of our ordeal, and what began as a journey into the frightening unknown of terror ended with the calming certainty of friendships that’ll last a lifetime.

What we knew wasn’t much. I knew that terrorist organizations, to appear organized, hold classes where insurgents can learn the finer points of terrorizing the Great Satan. Unfortunately, we didn’t know when or where they would strike… the chalk to the chalkboard.

I felt fortunate to be traveling with my loved one, Holli Gregg, who lives at 888 W Washington St. Madison, SD 57042.

I knew we’d need backup, so we called in former CTU agent and terrorism expert, Jack Bauer. If you’ve seen Fox’s real-time action show, 24, then you know what this man is capable of. Hopefully retirement hasn’t made him soft.

Right now I’m in the car with the real Jack Bauer. When I asked this former government agent whether or not he was the right man for the job, he said, “No, probably not”, and then continued to say “please take me home” and “my family will call the police” over and over.

Excited and eager to get to work, we headed to the football stadium, the most likely area of terrorist involvement. We scanned the area looking for known terrorist “tells”: head coverings, tents, and the color red. We were in trouble. The stadium was packed with football fans, but were they also fans of senseless violence. We enlisted a local boy to feed us information. He was later adopted by our boom mic guy.

The terrorists continued the ruse that this was actually a football game. However, when they actually started playing football, we came to believe that maybe this was actually a football game. Our hunch was further bolstered by a terror note written in obviously poor calligraphy which was discovered beneath the bleachers. The area was immediately evacuated. The field was cleared, and the banquet room was emptied except for one guy moving stuff around on stage.

No one here. No one here. No one here.

After a six hour delay with no notes, the game was allowed to resume, which one spectator said was probably worse than a terrorist attack (ba dum). We left the game early to check another lead at the only Catholic church in the town. As the crowd cheered and dancers danced, we discovered that church was a front for the biggest threat-note calligraphy instruction EVER. Unfortunely I didn’t get any pictures and then we blew up the church.

When we got back to the game we found it complete. They teams ended up tied for par. This little boy, Johnny, came up and hugged us and said that if we hadn’t blown up that church, he could never be a future president. Good luck, Johnny. With such kind words from such an honest boy, he took us to his quaint home and gave us food of rice and bamboo.

And so we end our trek to this magical, alarming “landen” transplanted from Holland and set down right here in Iowa. From Pella, IA (edit over “Indiana”), this is Miles Rausch (edit over the name “Riles Mausch”). Back to you, Miles (edit over the name “Riles”).

Warms your heart.

In Related News: What’s the dill with this chair? Goodnight.

Click To Play

WRITER:
Miles Rausch – http://milesrausch.com/

ACTORS:
Holli Rausch – http://hollirausch.com
David Rausch – http://milesrausch.com/david
Miles Rausch

MUSCIANS:
The Sleepless by The Shaky hands – http://www.holocenemusic.com/shakyhands/
When You Go by Jonathan Coulton – http://www.jonathancoulton.com/songdetails/When%20You%20Go

DIRECTOR:
Miles Rausch

Click To Play

WRITER:
Miles Rausch – http://milesrausch.com/

ACTORS:
Miles Rausch

MUSCIANS:
for the very first time by Museum – http://www.last.fm/music/Museum/_/for+the+very+first+time

DIRECTOR:
Miles Rausch